I’ve got a little secrete for you guys, I know why you end up in the friend zone.
So, you say you’re a nice guy, maybe you are. Always there for her, she talks to you about all her problems, you were there for her when her cat died. You helped her though some tough times, but she only looks at…
“A lot of what ‘nice guys’ do is kiss ass and expect some kind of reward in return.”
Before this, whenever I heard one of these “nice guys” discussions, even when they involved brilliant feminists like Amanda Marcotte, it seemed ridiculous to me that they were even taking place. Why were serious people discussing the adolescent behavior patterns of alleged adult males?
But this line made it break through for me. “Nice guy” syndrome in grownups is part and parcel of the careerism that has been endemic in this culture for decades. Kiss ass and make good. If it doesn’t work, it’s not your fault, because nobody in your peer group and nothing in your experience would have led you to believe that just doing to work — in this case, being yourself — was going to be sufficient.
Nice Guy syndrome as a symptom of the American Dream — now that’s interesting.
(via wareq)
